PEEVEEPEE

One of the fellows from my paintball team has decided that he wants to give EVE a try. This has potential for much awesome, after sending him a buddy invite and conversating about the trials and tribulations most new capsuleers face he gets logged in and starts doing some tutorials. Fast forward to the next night and I happen to be back in empire space picking up some blueprints when I see him log on. I direct him to our corps old vent server, which is still working somehow. We start discussing EVE careers, pvp, null sec the awful UI and why the overview is your best friend and you should cuddle with it and pour its wine. Eventually I settle on doing a quick low sec roam around Sinq Laison, now keep in mind I know nothing about this region and I find the Gallente to be a bunch of surrender monkeys with little sense of spaceship ascetic, barring their cap ships, those are handsome devils. So armed with a dotlan map of Sinq I look for the closest low sec to Dodixie, only about 3 jumps away, perfect. We fleet up and I give him a crash course in aggression mechanics, transversal, FC commands and various forms of traps we might find. I tell him to hold on the high sec side, while I jump through in my AWESOME RIFTER OF AWESOME, just to see if the gate is camped. Turns out it isn’t, however, there is an Iteron mk3 on the other side, I curse the gate guns and watch it jump away.

Looch (my friend) jumps on through and we proceed to sit on the game for a few minutes while I rant about, well, something or other, eventually we decide that this is getting us nowhere. I open up dotlan to check what the surrounding systems look like only to find we are in a 2 system island surrounded by empire. Well shit, I guess gate camping it is then! After a few more boring minutes of orbiting the Balle gate a rifter shows up on grid, all by his lonesome. A lone rifter, in low sec, its more likely then you think! He flys over and plays orbiting games with us, our two group giving each other (and the gate guns) the stare down, see if noobishness will strike the other one first. He warps off and back a few more times and I eventually get the idea he wants us to follow him, to the top belt, THIS ISNT A TRAP OR ANYTHING, but whatever, I promised Looch some combat and explosions and by Jove I’ll deliver.

A short warp later, Mr. Rifter is sitting there, looking all innocent and lonely and I’m getting excited just to see what the trap is, he breaks the ice with his point and we start exchanging ammo in a most ungentlemanly fashion. Looch and I are doing a fine job of breaking his tank when a new person appears in local, I tell Looch to align to a planet because it’s about to be on like Donkey Kong in a man thing playing ping pong. The new guy lands on grid in, wait for it… an ISHKUR, I was expecting a Hurricane or something at least, though it isn’t as if it matters since it is going to crush me in any case. I tell Looch to GTFO and I wait for the inevitable evemail, a few moments later and the Ishkur delivered said EVEmail. I warp my pod off, gf’s are exchanged in local and our worthy foes congratulated Looch on his first pvp experience.

I think if I am going to do this again soon, a MANthrasher is in order mostly for the amusement factor, but also because I’m a Python Cartel fanboy. Looch was quite amused by this whole situation and hopefully tomorrow we can get his ass out to PNQY and null sec to participate in blobs, erotic harry potter fanfics and other gentlemanly behavior courtesy of the Clusterfuck in general and GENTS in specific, until next time, fly dangerous!