So last night, I was quite bored, it was 11:30 and I was about to go to sleep when a Ping went out on Jabber (our alliance-wide chat client) that some Russians were in need of a most ungentlemanly exit from our space. I quickly logged in and got onto voice, there were only a few guys in voice, none of whom I recognized, but that’s ok, our alliance isn’t that small. I get my Bugswatter Hurricane (my new favorite ship) out and go rally up on the PNQY-Q gate in RP2, our scout was reporting 2 red Canes and a Drake, there were 11 of us in battlecruisers, we totally had this. After a few minutes one of our players says he is done for the night and jumps through to PNQY to dock up at the station, a few seconds later our scout gives up a warp in point, said player, for whatever reason promptly LEEEEEERRRROOOYYYYY’s into the red gate camp. Well our hand was forced, we scramble and jump through and warp to save him. We land on grid with 2 red Canes and a Drake wreck… WTF happened to the Drake? No matter, we lock up the reds, get points and webs on them and start turning their shield bars inside out.
The first Cane Kill:
The Second Cane Kill:
And his pod, squished by yours truly:
Here’s the Battle Summary:
We celebrate, high five and make merry, while the FC drives us back to BYXF (our home system) where we are stood down, after maybe five minutes of station spinning and killmail hating we get a message a neutral Mastodon is coming up the pipe from Hophib. A grey Mastodon, in GENTS space, it’s more likely than you think! We quickly undock and hustle to the P5- gate and set up for the uncloak, our scout reports a red gate activation (meaning the target is coming though) and a few seconds later a Buzzard uncloaks, not even my Bugswatter had a fast enough lock speed to catch him so he gets away. The FC in his wisdom orders us to jump and see if the reported Mastodon is lurking on the other side of the gate , turns out his predatory instincts were correct, however the ‘don makes it through the gate and we all hurry fat ass battlecruisers after him. How fortunate then that one of our fast tacklers was already there and had him pointed and webbed as soon as he uncloaked, giving us enough time to jump back and explode him.
The Mastodon:
Sadly he was empty but such is life, now this is where the story takes a turn for the surreal, after we wacked this guy, he convos our FC, now this isn’t all that strange but the contents of said convo were quite odd.
Here are some of the chat logs, Daniel is our FC, Skuyou is the victim and my commentary is in bold.
LOCAL - immediately after mastodon died.
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:01 ] Skuyou > what would yall charge to haul soem stuff out of your area? jump freighter
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:24 ] Daniel Essig > i'll do it for free
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:31 ] Daniel Essig > we're gentlemen
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:48 ] Skuyou > lol why dont I believe that
[ 2011.02.24 08:45:31 ] Morolen1 > I say my good man, are you implying we are anything other honorable fellows
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:24 ] Daniel Essig > i'll do it for free
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:31 ] Daniel Essig > we're gentlemen
[ 2011.02.24 08:42:48 ] Skuyou > lol why dont I believe that
[ 2011.02.24 08:45:31 ] Morolen1 > I say my good man, are you implying we are anything other honorable fellows
At this point I presumed it was just smacking in local, you know, like you do, but it seems as if the rabbit hole goes deeper than that. The following is the private chat between him and Daniel, I will fill in what the rest of us doing as the chat goes along. Sorry about the poor spelling but I think you can get the general idea.
[ 2011.02.24 08:43:47 ] Skuyou > yo
[ 2011.02.24 08:43:51 ] Daniel Essig > what do you need moved?
[ 2011.02.24 08:44:05 ] Skuyou > we have a wh thats a few systems over
[ 2011.02.24 08:44:13 ] Skuyou > c2 with a nice lil pos.
[ 2011.02.24 08:44:28 ] Daniel Essig > k
[ 2011.02.24 08:44:44 ] Skuyou > we have been getting hammered every day in that damd thing and havent seen a hs ent in about a month
[ 2011.02.24 08:45:15 ] Skuyou > today we decided that we would try to get back to hs with it so we collapsed it about 9 times and this is the closest that we have gotten
[ 2011.02.24 08:45:29 ] Daniel Essig > k
[ 2011.02.24 08:46:10 ] Daniel Essig > so... what do you need?
[ 2011.02.24 08:46:14 ] Skuyou > in all honesty. I want the tower. I dont really give a shit about the rest at this point
[ 2011.02.24 08:46:38 ] Daniel Essig > small tower?
[ 2011.02.24 08:46:49 ] Skuyou > large min
[ 2011.02.24 08:47:38 ] Daniel Essig > what do you want from us?
[ 2011.02.24 08:48:20 ] Daniel Essig > you want to bring it out and have us bring it to highsec for you?
[ 2011.02.24 08:48:23 ] Skuyou > most corps in null hiave a jump freighter that runs once every week or every other
[ 2011.02.24 08:48:32 ] Skuyou > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 08:48:47 ] Daniel Essig > what sys is this wormhole in?
[ 2011.02.24 08:49:05 ] Skuyou > this one
[ 2011.02.24 08:49:10 ] Daniel Essig > by?
[ 2011.02.24 08:49:13 ] Daniel Essig > byxf?
[ 2011.02.24 08:49:17 ] Skuyou > baa
[ 2011.02.24 08:49:20 ] Skuyou > cc99z
[ 2011.02.24 08:51:09 ] Daniel Essig > hmm ok
[ 2011.02.24 08:52:09 ] Skuyou > in all reality you just killed our transport ship
[ 2011.02.24 08:52:42 ] Daniel Essig > why did you bring it in here with no cargo?
[ 2011.02.24 08:53:05 ] Skuyou > we were heading up from hs
[ 2011.02.24 08:53:07 ] Daniel Essig > you were probably bringing it back from Lowsec
[ 2011.02.24 08:53:11 ] Daniel Essig > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 08:53:27 ] Daniel Essig > so you need us to grab it
[ 2011.02.24 08:53:56 ] Skuyou > well I can haul the junk to the nearest station with bestowers
[ 2011.02.24 08:54:26 ] Skuyou > after that figure 100m? to freighter it on your next run?
This is where Dan told the rest of us that this was really happening, or at least that the trap attempt was an elaborate one. We were still fairly certain it was a cunning trap on the part of Skuyou and his corp, because, well, come on.
[ 2011.02.24 08:54:46 ] Daniel Essig > sounds fair, tho we will pick it up for you from your wormhole
[ 2011.02.24 08:54:52 ] Daniel Essig > i was looking to see if i could fit it
[ 2011.02.24 08:55:02 ] Daniel Essig > safer even in our own space to do it in a cloaky
[ 2011.02.24 08:55:57 ] Skuyou > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 08:56:18 ] Daniel Essig > so i'm going to invite you to a fleet, can you put my cloaky on your WH to go into 0.0?
[ 2011.02.24 08:56:19 ] Skuyou > its a relitively fresh wh 5 frigs through it
[ 2011.02.24 08:57:13 ] Skuyou > my cloaky on your wh???
[ 2011.02.24 08:57:33 ] Daniel Essig > i want you to give me the BM on our side
[ 2011.02.24 08:57:41 ] Daniel Essig > then go to ur pos, is it ready for me to scoop?
[ 2011.02.24 08:57:43 ] Skuyou > o ok
[ 2011.02.24 08:58:56 ] Skuyou > ok I am out of the fleet
[ 2011.02.24 08:59:13 ] Daniel Essig > is the tower unanchored and ready for me to scoop?
[ 2011.02.24 08:59:21 ] Skuyou > nope
[ 2011.02.24 08:59:37 ] Daniel Essig > unanchor it
[ 2011.02.24 08:59:37 ] Skuyou > I was leaving the defences online till all the easy shit was done
[ 2011.02.24 09:00:22 ] Daniel Essig > you can unanchor it now
[ 2011.02.24 09:00:26 ] Daniel Essig > we're ready to grab it
[ 2011.02.24 09:03:34 ] Skuyou > this is going to be a bitch to do
[ 2011.02.24 09:03:56 ] Daniel Essig > how is that?
[ 2011.02.24 09:04:09 ] Skuyou > unloading guns in a bestower
[ 2011.02.24 09:04:51 ] Daniel Essig > rofl
[ 2011.02.24 09:04:53 ] Skuyou > shield pass is 123
[ 2011.02.24 09:04:54 ] Daniel Essig > thats slow...
[ 2011.02.24 09:05:22 ] Daniel Essig > come get us the WH bookmark again i'll invite you to fleet now
[ 2011.02.24 09:07:52 ] Daniel Essig > k when i see you in local i'll warp to you
[ 2011.02.24 09:07:55 ] Daniel Essig > on my alt
[ 2011.02.24 09:07:59 ] Skuyou > ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:08:28 ] Skuyou > just hope yall are trust worthy
Yea, about that, now Dan was saying he was in a wormhole with this guy and warping to his POS, we were expecting smart bombing battleships or something along those lines. It hadn’t really occurred to us that it might really be happening, it was simply too absurd to consider that a stranger was giving us the keys to the kingdom.
[ 2011.02.24 09:15:14 ] Daniel Essig > is it ready yet?
[ 2011.02.24 09:15:19 ] Daniel Essig > i dropped as they told you
[ 2011.02.24 09:15:51 ] Skuyou > I didnt know if you had warped in yet so I just stayed put
[ 2011.02.24 09:16:06 ] Daniel Essig > thanks
[ 2011.02.24 09:16:36 ] Skuyou > i offlined everything so its safe to aproach it
[ 2011.02.24 09:18:27 ] Daniel Essig > you at it now?
[ 2011.02.24 09:18:36 ] Skuyou > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 09:20:18 ] Skuyou > so I am wondering.. should I be trusting you?
[ 2011.02.24 09:20:34 ] Daniel Essig > as i said
[ 2011.02.24 09:20:45 ] Skuyou > ok coo
[ 2011.02.24 09:21:13 ] Daniel Essig > i see you ahve alot of ships empty
[ 2011.02.24 09:21:30 ] Skuyou > we have been jumping this wh all day long
[ 2011.02.24 09:21:46 ] Daniel Essig > you need my guys to move those ships for you?
[ 2011.02.24 09:22:38 ] Skuyou > I can fly the drake and the exhumers
[ 2011.02.24 09:22:44 ] Skuyou > bestower
[ 2011.02.24 09:23:11 ] Skuyou > if I could get the noctis flown it would be great
Of course we could fly that, we are gentlemen after all, and about all the OTHER ships he had at his POS, well, we wouldn’t want it to be too much of a hassle on this poor fellow. We quickly go and leave our ships at a friendly POS in the system the wormhole entrance was in and we all warp to Daniel. I’ll be damned, the POS password worked and we were in. I quickly got in a Covetor and fled the scene. I was expecting at any moment for the guy to wise up and it all to break down or a stealth freighter to come and trap us all in the wormhole.
[ 2011.02.24 09:23:50 ] Daniel Essig > ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:24:20 ] Skuyou > not sure what to do about that prowler
[ 2011.02.24 09:24:48 ] Daniel Essig > i got it
[ 2011.02.24 09:25:06 ] Daniel Essig > my alt is here in a prowler atm... i'll go drop it off and pod over
[ 2011.02.24 09:26:03 ] Skuyou > if yall have a galint pilot tell him he can have the myrm
[ 2011.02.24 09:36:03 ] Daniel Essig > grabbin what we can
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:28 ] Skuyou > when do you think your freight run will be?
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:35 ] Daniel Essig > we do them pretty much ever day
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:38 ] Daniel Essig > so probly tomorrow
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:47 ] Skuyou > sweet
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:52 ] Daniel Essig > these chinese things on scan
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:54 ] Daniel Essig > orca and shit
[ 2011.02.24 09:37:55 ] Daniel Essig > that you?
[ 2011.02.24 09:38:19 ] Skuyou > orca and shit?
[ 2011.02.24 09:38:33 ] Skuyou > no.. I wish
[ 2011.02.24 09:38:41 ] Daniel Essig > yeah we have orca on scan in this system
[ 2011.02.24 09:39:18 ] Skuyou > its just me and zeeg up here now
[ 2011.02.24 09:39:26 ] Skuyou > and I am boxing him
[ 2011.02.24 09:39:35 ] Daniel Essig > you want us to move that hulk for you?
[ 2011.02.24 09:39:38 ] Skuyou > everyone els is dead from trying to jump the systems
[ 2011.02.24 09:39:40 ] Daniel Essig > or anything else in ship maint?
[ 2011.02.24 09:40:07 ] Skuyou > that was everything out of the ship maint
[ 2011.02.24 09:40:18 ] Daniel Essig > ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:40:24 ] Daniel Essig > ur hulk?
[ 2011.02.24 09:41:11 ] Skuyou > if you want to
[ 2011.02.24 09:41:27 ] Daniel Essig > sure
[ 2011.02.24 09:41:30 ] Daniel Essig > eject
Much to our surprise, he actually ejected from his hulk and one of our guy hopped in and flew it off. This was about the point we were going crazy on mumble since it really seemed this was really happening and there was no real trap.
[ 2011.02.24 09:41:33 ] Skuyou > otherwise I can fly it out
[ 2011.02.24 09:42:55 ] Skuyou > the only thing I really need is that buzz so I can get this clone back
[ 2011.02.24 09:43:11 ] Daniel Essig > we'll escort your bestower
[ 2011.02.24 09:43:18 ] Daniel Essig > we already moved the buzz
[ 2011.02.24 09:44:04 ] Skuyou > its ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:44:11 ] Daniel Essig > 0.0 is dangerous
[ 2011.02.24 09:44:20 ] Skuyou > believe me I know
[ 2011.02.24 09:44:30 ] Skuyou > I spent a good amount of time out here
[ 2011.02.24 09:44:48 ] Skuyou > I was based out of venal
[ 2011.02.24 09:45:00 ] Daniel Essig > ah ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:45:07 ] Skuyou > I left null due to the nc pl war in our back yard...
[ 2011.02.24 09:45:14 ] Skuyou > screw that crap
[ 2011.02.24 09:45:18 ] Daniel Essig > ah
[ 2011.02.24 09:45:46 ] Skuyou > I am going to throw down a bunch of cans for ya
[ 2011.02.24 09:46:23 ] Daniel Essig > ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:46:35 ] Daniel Essig > we're bringing in some transports
We had all scrambled back to BYXF and got what Industrial ships we could, much to our collective amusement none of us could fly his Bestowers, however about 4 jumps from us someone was selling a Amarr Industrial skillbook. One of our guys hopped over and started training it.
[ 2011.02.24 09:47:18 ] Daniel Essig > i'll haul shit in your hoarder
[ 2011.02.24 09:47:23 ] Daniel Essig > go ahead and jet can w/e
[ 2011.02.24 09:50:03 ] Skuyou > yall mine?
[ 2011.02.24 09:50:15 ] Daniel Essig > mmhm
[ 2011.02.24 09:50:33 ] Skuyou > ok yall can have the bits of unporcessed junk we have
[ 2011.02.24 09:50:47 ] Skuyou > its going to take yall a while to haul it
[ 2011.02.24 09:51:01 ] Daniel Essig > how much is a while?
[ 2011.02.24 09:51:55 ] Skuyou > 60k worth?
[ 2011.02.24 09:52:03 ] Daniel Essig > m3?
[ 2011.02.24 09:52:08 ] Daniel Essig > 60km3?
[ 2011.02.24 09:52:08 ] Skuyou > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 09:52:25 ] Skuyou > so 3 runs in a bestower
[ 2011.02.24 09:53:09 ] Daniel Essig > ok
[ 2011.02.24 09:53:35 ] Skuyou > good rocks are heavy as hell
[ 2011.02.24 09:53:41 ] Daniel Essig > yah
[ 2011.02.24 09:54:02 ] Skuyou > and that damd intense thing takes 3 hours no matter how much you put in it
[ 2011.02.24 09:54:46 ] Daniel Essig > yah
[ 2011.02.24 09:54:50 ] Daniel Essig > good turn out tho
[ 2011.02.24 09:59:58 ] Skuyou > hmm
[ 2011.02.24 10:02:47 ] Daniel Essig > sup?
[ 2011.02.24 10:02:51 ] Daniel Essig > anything else?
[ 2011.02.24 10:03:00 ] Skuyou > cans that I have dropped
[ 2011.02.24 10:03:13 ] Daniel Essig > workin on those
[ 2011.02.24 10:03:17 ] Daniel Essig > anything other than those?
[ 2011.02.24 10:03:25 ] Skuyou > guns and the tower
[ 2011.02.24 10:03:28 ] Daniel Essig > k
[ 2011.02.24 10:04:25 ] Skuyou > just looking at downtime comin going o yeah hope we get this done
[ 2011.02.24 10:04:33 ] Daniel Essig > we'll be on after DT
YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT WE WILL BE ON AFTER DOWNTIME, HOW ELSE ARE WE GOING TO STEAL ALL YOUR SHIT BRO!
[ 2011.02.24 10:04:57 ] Daniel Essig > its only like 30 min
[ 2011.02.24 10:05:29 ] Skuyou > yeah
[ 2011.02.24 10:05:45 ] Skuyou > I know... but once dt hits I know I should have been asleep hours ago
[ 2011.02.24 10:05:54 ] Daniel Essig > hmm
[ 2011.02.24 10:06:09 ] Daniel Essig > well we're here after if you're willin to hang up
[ 2011.02.24 10:06:13 ] Daniel Essig > hang ot \
[ 2011.02.24 10:06:16 ] Skuyou > I dont really care that much... just a wake up call... what time is it
[ 2011.02.24 10:06:49 ] Skuyou > I am us west
[ 2011.02.24 10:07:00 ] Skuyou > its 2am
[ 2011.02.24 10:07:13 ] Daniel Essig > im AZ - its 3aM
[ 2011.02.24 10:59:16 ] Daniel Essig > Lesson learned?
[ 2011.02.24 10:59:27 ] Skuyou > honestly
[ 2011.02.24 10:59:33 ] Skuyou > I just didnt want it on a kill mail
So the story ends, with us getting a full Minmatar POS setup and a slew of POS modules and all kinda of other stuff, the cherry on the cake is, mere seconds before downtime, we pop him and his alt, using ships we stole from him.
Yes that was Skuyou’s Harby on the km, poetic I think.
And the photo of all the stuff we stole.
I am fairly certain this was the best EVE adventure I have participated in ever.
BEST NIGHT EVER
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